A Sugar Cube that i never send out

Ya, so this is a sugar cube that i always keep, and never send out, dedicated to my boss.

I have wrote sugar cube for every EB in Appraisal Night, the only 2 person that i failed to do so--Guo Zhang and Wei Jun. I did not write for Wei jun is because i really not close to him, there is not much memory shared between us, (basically he admited that he is not close to anyone in the team), and personally i do not write fake wish for people, so i rather not to write anything for him; as for my boss, Guo Zhang, i did not write for him because i don't know what to write for him, don't ask me why, i will answer you "i don't know".

Zhang,
Being the most important person and the person i respect the most in EB team, there are so many thing that i would like to thank you for, although you might not remember.
July--thank you for telling me i am a better FA than Ooi, thank you for the trust when i even lost the faith on myself.
Oct--thank you for telling people that i am overload, because i will never tell people so even i know i cannot tahan anymore.
Dec--thank you for knowing that i am not ok, although i tell u 'there is nothing, i am ok', thank you for building up my belief towards FA.
Jan--thank you for making me cry out in front of you, this cry out release my sadness after reading Loh's sugar cube since MyLDS.
Mar--this is the thing that i do not have an idea how to start with. Basically after i failed the election, i keep telling myself to hold on my tears from rolling down, and congrats the other candidates first. Then suddenly you come, give me a hug that is totally out of my expectation, and for the first time, i feel something from your hug--you knew that i am going to fail, you just want to tell me that:"it's ok to fail",haha, like a father.
Apr--Thank you the the award, ya you are right i will never expect about it, just like i will never expect you being rude to me that time.

Don't tell me that i am a good FA, because it will make me cry in front of you (i did so when Alif tell me this,haiz..embarassing betul), i shine, because you never give me up.

So, it has come to the end of our term, i always hope to be close with you but we aren't, and to me this will be the end of our interaction since we only interact with each other for AIESEC issue. Well i guess i will give up the chance to be teammate with you again, Alif approached to me and said that there will be 4th round of MC application if i want to run for FA, but most probably i will not run again. So all the best for your MC term, i believe you will make more people shine^^

p/s: can we be more than just teammate? (this is the first sugar cube you wrote for everyone, and franfly said i hate the feeling to end our interaction now!)

How i wish i can put 1 picture of me and him here to represent the post, but we did not took any picture together before this, see how far is the relationship between me and my boss, lol.

在意

你打算，人在机场时才告诉我你将离开半年吗？
我真的在意，因为我是最后一个知道的人
你是故意的，还是我对你而言已经是知不知道都无所谓的人

半年，可以改变很多

离开前，想想有什么放不下、舍不得的人
打个电话吧
有些人，你或许这一走，这一生都不会再见到了

瞬间。永恒

对你而言，摄影是什么呢？
对我而言，摄影是，纪念
曾经听过有人说过这么一句话
：“摄影就是能让瞬间变成永恒的魔法”
所以我爱拍照，希望能记下我的每一个第一次，每一个值得我去记住的时刻
我甚至希望每一张照片，背后都有属于自己的故事

我并不是什么了不起的摄影师，所以我的照片，并不会因为高超的摄影技术而美丽，相反地，它很可能长得非常普通，它，只是因为背后的故事而美丽

有人曾经问我，拍照对我而言就这么重要？
我沉默
因为问我的人，并不知道我想保留的是什么
我只是觉得，我和他之间好像没有纪念
因为要是有一天我关了面子书，或者离开了这个世界
那他或许连纪念我的一张照片也找不到

First Glance

Some people said this to me today:
"Still can't understand why am I still attached to you, I think this is called fate gua. I still remember the moment back to MyLDS how we met, how we dance and how we smile"


Seeing this make me reflect back to what happen in my life. I meet a lot of people, some of them, i meet only once or twice, some, i forgotten after i meet them, some, play an important role in my life, but all these destiny, i never know when i first meet them.
It;s kind of amazing when i recall back how i meet the person who said this to me, the moment i meet him for the very first time, he is just a normal delegates for me, i never know we will so attached to each other in the future, until we meet the second time one year after that. So you see, yes we only meet each other twice so far, but we are very close now, and i can say he is the best memory i have for MyLDS 2010, a year when i start to feel unhappy in AIESEC. But his appearance, has added value to my journey in AIESEC, no matter how i disappointed with the people here, at least i meet him because of AIESEC, and that is enough for everything.

Well, beautiful memory do not comes easily. Sometimes, slow down the journey and think about the moment we smile together, ups and downs together and the moment we meet each other, that's kind of enjoyment.
At least by doing so i know, i am not alone.

"KamWei Cheah

No. 128, your turn la. Still can't understand why am I still attached to you, I think this is called fate gua. I still remember the moment back to MyLDS how we met, how we dance and how we smile. ^^ Honestly I don't know when we will meet again after this. But I think with fate, again, we will meet. If you have any problem or anything, I am here to be a GOOD listener. ^^ Take good care alright?

Yesterday at 8:56pm "

最后一秒。回顾

2010年，还剩两分钟，我突然回想起去年的最后一天我是怎么过的
然后我发现，365天后的今天，很多人变了，很多事变了，连感受都不一样了
我从不知道365天能改变这么多

至少，2010年，我记得谁陪我一起哭过笑过，跌倒过走过，我很感恩，因为这些回忆，不是我一个人建立得起来的，很感谢所有在2010年，让我笑过的人，因为真心的笑，得来不易。喜爱大学里的这一年，已经不是过着觉得好笑就能笑的日子；在AIESEC里的这一年，也不是心酸就能哭出来。

幸好这一年没有白过，至少，我长大了……

2011年，我要求不多，只想珍惜每一个爱我，和我爱的人；珍惜生命的每一天。

Silent

2010年，我二十一岁，学会沉默，学会安静，不再轻易说出心里话
有一句话是这么说的：“人，越活，就越寂寞”
长大了，友情渐渐变质，所谓从小到大的知己，最后他只知道他自己，也只记得他自己，果然叫“知己”
家人渐渐老了，总有一天会离去，剩下的，是一堆遗憾且心酸的回忆，及回忆里，他们唠唠叨叨的声音
情人是个未知数，因为我无法预测将来会有怎样的另一半，或许有，或许没有；就算有，男人出轨的几率，一半一半
所以，剩下的，还是自己
这个时候，不是我想保持silent，而是，我的世界很安静，我已经没有了可以倾吐的对象
我的本性很直爽，什么心情都可以当故事一样来讲，但这一刻，我突然不想讲话了，此刻无声胜有声……

朋友？

人在大学，心情五味瓶杂，遇到的人比五味瓶更杂
在这个环境里，我看尽了各种嘴脸，唯独看不见真诚的
最真的，永远还是同乡的朋友
人家一句：“明天一起吃早餐”，我就可以像小孩拿到冰淇淋一样开心
我不否认，就算我很少有时间陪他们，当我迷失时，低落时，我的确只想抱着她们哭一场
我等这个可以让我做回我自己，用真正的我去笑去哭的机会很久了
只有跟他们在一起，我才感觉自己并不是一个人
以前心里怀着猜疑避忌，现在却成了大学里最大的依靠
朋友，原来就是这样子的
谢谢你们，总是没有忘记我……

我不是你，你也不是我

你尝过眼角托着眼泪睡觉的滋味吗？昨晚，我尝到了，那真是个难熬的夜晚。

可是没有谁对谁错，只因为，我不是你，你也不是我。

我一直以为要是别人为我做这些事的话我会很开心，于是我把同样的道理付出在你身上。

可是我不小心忘了，你不是我，所以我喜欢的不代表你也喜欢，我期待的不代表你也期待；当然，我需要的，往往你不需要

而我也不是你，所以你的方程式盗用在我身上，一样碰了壁，好像我们的头脑，一个是顺时针转，另一个是逆时针转似的，偶尔会在同一个点碰面，然后以为我们在同一个世界，可其实我们都往相反的方向转。

爱情是双向的

我一直怪你为什么不试着多了解我，可其实我又了解你多少？

而当我所给的并不符合你心目中的爱情时，那不管我付出多少，一切都等于零。

是的，就是零。

因为这些你都不需要，是我多余了。

其实没有谁对谁错，只是，我们都给错了对方不要的，而对方想要的，自己却不知道是什么。

变质

心痛的感觉，你知道吗？
你就坐在我对面，眼神并没有在我身上逗留多久，连看我的眼神也不一样了，似乎少了点关切，多了点不屑
你没有主动和我说几句话，一开口，就是一针见血
我说的血，是真的在滴着，只不过，滴在心里，你看不到

不偏不倚，你就坐在我对面，我没有办法不拿现在的我们和半年前的我们拿来比较，那个在我生病时会打电话来说我声音听起来根本不像真的生病，会突然拿维他命给我吃的你，感觉，再也不会出现在我面前了

我不知道问题到底出在哪里，还是一切只是我多心，你今天酸溜溜的那几句话，就像是有心说给我听，今天，我总算知道，三四年的友情，留不住，也回不来了，留下的，只有努力忍住的眼泪……

心痛的感觉，你知道吗？就在你那些针对我的话说出口时，心痛的感觉，我知道了。

落空

希望，然后失望，这一切，已经不知道循环了多少遍了

我总是希望在我把心里的话说出来后，会听到你的认同，至少，一点点安慰

然而，你没有，你只是保持着一贯的沉默

我觉得，使我说得太多了，其实你没有放在心上，所以，我也选择了沉默，让文字来代替声音

然后，你知道了，要我别藏在心里，有什么事要说出来

我挣扎了一段时间，觉得你很努力地在维持这段感情，所以我把文字的秘密告诉了你，我想，我把心里藏着的话都告诉你了，或许，就会带来什么改变了吧

可惜，没有

你一样看了没有什么反应，也许我的文字很失败，并没有勾化除心里最真的感受；也许，对你而言就像是看了几篇故事，并没有什么大不了

不要告诉我你只是一时忘了该说什么，因为那只是反映出了你的满不在乎，或者你觉得，就算很在乎也会拖个四五天不说然后不小心忘记？

再说什么也已经来不及，我说过，一旦说出口就代表我放弃了

我只是后悔，再一次给自己落空的机会