我很开心，因为你的一句“跟我回去，一个人很危险”。
你没有看我，但语气尽是坚持，
那代表着你是担心的。
终究
因为不能放下，心里起了作用。
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
血浓于水？
我知道我带给大家很多麻烦，不好意思，请原谅我，我说认真的。
拜访小叔家，堂哥出来选喊了两句就躲在房里不出来，过后就直接出门去了。
踏进二叔家，原本一家大小在客厅里看电影，我才坐下，看了一半的电视也不看了，大家似乎怕我怕得要死，都直接躲进房里不出来。
我自认很好相处，能在很短的时间内和别人打成一片，可是在那客厅里,你我似乎不能并存
那一刻,我不禁在想,我们到底是为了什么,身上要留着一样的血?
拜访小叔家，堂哥出来选喊了两句就躲在房里不出来，过后就直接出门去了。
踏进二叔家，原本一家大小在客厅里看电影，我才坐下，看了一半的电视也不看了，大家似乎怕我怕得要死，都直接躲进房里不出来。
我自认很好相处，能在很短的时间内和别人打成一片，可是在那客厅里,你我似乎不能并存
那一刻,我不禁在想,我们到底是为了什么,身上要留着一样的血?
爸爸vs妈妈
今天六点，起了个大早，因为起点就要开车和爸爸北上吉隆坡。
一踏出房门，我以为会看到妈妈忙着做早餐，爸爸一如往常在最后一分钟整理衣物，但是我没有。妈妈依然在睡觉，而爸爸在准备供神的东西，噢！忘了说，今天是卫塞节，妈妈一起身第一件要做的就是拜神。
老师说这点我很惊讶，而且是直接把我吓醒的那种惊讶！记忆中爸爸和妈妈只有争吵，不好意思，应该是爸爸总是在骂妈妈，妈妈很少回嘴；我真的不觉得他们之间有‘爱’可言，而且很久以前就这么认为。可是今早，我知道爸爸在做什么，他不但没有叫醒妈妈，而且还知道她起床会不顾早餐先拜神，于是就在出远门前提妈妈做点什么，准备好神台，让妈妈一睡醒就可以拜神，然后才会有时间吃早餐。
我总是认为他是个百分之百的好爸爸，却从来不曾把他归类成‘好老公’，其实，人生之过了二十年的我，真的了解爸爸的心吗？嘴上说不爱，其实诸多批评，也是爱的一种表现吧~
一踏出房门，我以为会看到妈妈忙着做早餐，爸爸一如往常在最后一分钟整理衣物，但是我没有。妈妈依然在睡觉，而爸爸在准备供神的东西，噢！忘了说，今天是卫塞节，妈妈一起身第一件要做的就是拜神。
老师说这点我很惊讶，而且是直接把我吓醒的那种惊讶！记忆中爸爸和妈妈只有争吵，不好意思，应该是爸爸总是在骂妈妈，妈妈很少回嘴；我真的不觉得他们之间有‘爱’可言，而且很久以前就这么认为。可是今早，我知道爸爸在做什么，他不但没有叫醒妈妈，而且还知道她起床会不顾早餐先拜神，于是就在出远门前提妈妈做点什么，准备好神台，让妈妈一睡醒就可以拜神，然后才会有时间吃早餐。
我总是认为他是个百分之百的好爸爸，却从来不曾把他归类成‘好老公’，其实，人生之过了二十年的我，真的了解爸爸的心吗？嘴上说不爱，其实诸多批评，也是爱的一种表现吧~
Sunday, May 15, 2011
再见，M25/310
M25/310，是我大二的宿舍房间，我在这双人房，一个人地呆了一年，对，一个人。
遗憾的是，在我离开的那一天，我不小心忘了给它照张相。
离开了M25/310，对我而言，等于告别了大学的第二年。
那真是个多事之秋，我住在这里两年，第一年，总觉得过得特别快，第二年，却好像过了一世纪。一开始的好朋友，一年下来心结多了不少，一开始生气的人，到头 来却在一起煮火锅谈心事。年头追了一段时间的男生，现在有了女朋友，年头在宿舍楼下给我按摩的男朋友，现在变成在宿舍楼下僵持不下。
住在这里的最后一晚，天气很闷热，大概根据朋友的温度计来看（如果它没有被热坏的话），气温大约34.7度，我突然不想呆在房间，于是自己一个人下楼去散 散步。外面的空气比房间里的凉快很多，虽然没有凉凉的晚风吹来。走着走着，我开始注意起四周围，看看有什么地方是我不设的，然后第一个看到的，是隔壁栋的 那个凉亭。我曾经很多次坐在那里用餐，聊天，吹风，甚至脑神经大条地去那里上网和读书，那是个我呆过很多次的地方。然后，附近走路总是经过的相思豆树，和 男生宿舍下的相思豆树。我曾经天天故意路过校长家前，然后像个笨蛋一样蹲在路边兴致勃勃地捡相思豆，捡到路过的人都认得我背影了；也曾经跑到男生宿舍下， 一级一级台阶去捡相思豆，捡到马来色胚吹我口哨，还有人问我需不需要帮忙。没办法，我看到红红一颗一颗在地上就有一股想捡的冲动。然后是最靠近我宿舍的巴 士亭，我舍不得的其实是和我混得很熟的每一个巴士司机，每一个都有自己的外号——有黄色窗帘的是Abang Handsome，我和我男朋友是在那里认识的；老是在暗笑的叫晓薇爸爸，因为他长得像晓薇，他曾经不肯放我下巴士要带我一起去喝下午茶；很少笑且law by law的是酷哥，因为他总是不笑让人感觉很Cool，可是我觉得他会是个温柔的男人，因为虽然他很少笑，却知道我容易跌倒叫我上巴士要小心；总是边驾巴士 边按电话的叫瘦子，因为他真的很瘦，不过他曾经帮我找回我的宝贝环保瓶。
还有就是这里的一草一木，我曾经在停电的夜晚，或者是慵懒的傍晚，绕着整个KTDI走了N次，而且是很懒散，不走直线地走着，因为藤井树的《夏日之诗》里写过，
“ 散步就是該懶散地走路，不需要走直線，也不需要趕時間，走著走著，有時會想通一些事情。那你知道散步时一件很幸福的事马吗？那表示你生活過得不錯，即使不是有錢人，你也有悠閒的時候。即使不是沒煩惱，你也有暫時不去想的時候。即使不是很快樂，你也有沉澱的時候。即使不是全無病痛，你也有還算不錯的身體陪著你一起走。”
因为喜欢，所以不舍。再见了，M25/310。
遗憾的是，在我离开的那一天，我不小心忘了给它照张相。
离开了M25/310，对我而言，等于告别了大学的第二年。
那真是个多事之秋，我住在这里两年，第一年，总觉得过得特别快，第二年，却好像过了一世纪。一开始的好朋友，一年下来心结多了不少，一开始生气的人，到头 来却在一起煮火锅谈心事。年头追了一段时间的男生，现在有了女朋友，年头在宿舍楼下给我按摩的男朋友，现在变成在宿舍楼下僵持不下。
住在这里的最后一晚，天气很闷热，大概根据朋友的温度计来看（如果它没有被热坏的话），气温大约34.7度，我突然不想呆在房间，于是自己一个人下楼去散 散步。外面的空气比房间里的凉快很多，虽然没有凉凉的晚风吹来。走着走着，我开始注意起四周围，看看有什么地方是我不设的，然后第一个看到的，是隔壁栋的 那个凉亭。我曾经很多次坐在那里用餐，聊天，吹风，甚至脑神经大条地去那里上网和读书，那是个我呆过很多次的地方。然后，附近走路总是经过的相思豆树，和 男生宿舍下的相思豆树。我曾经天天故意路过校长家前，然后像个笨蛋一样蹲在路边兴致勃勃地捡相思豆，捡到路过的人都认得我背影了；也曾经跑到男生宿舍下， 一级一级台阶去捡相思豆，捡到马来色胚吹我口哨，还有人问我需不需要帮忙。没办法，我看到红红一颗一颗在地上就有一股想捡的冲动。然后是最靠近我宿舍的巴 士亭，我舍不得的其实是和我混得很熟的每一个巴士司机，每一个都有自己的外号——有黄色窗帘的是Abang Handsome，我和我男朋友是在那里认识的；老是在暗笑的叫晓薇爸爸，因为他长得像晓薇，他曾经不肯放我下巴士要带我一起去喝下午茶；很少笑且law by law的是酷哥，因为他总是不笑让人感觉很Cool，可是我觉得他会是个温柔的男人，因为虽然他很少笑，却知道我容易跌倒叫我上巴士要小心；总是边驾巴士 边按电话的叫瘦子，因为他真的很瘦，不过他曾经帮我找回我的宝贝环保瓶。
还有就是这里的一草一木，我曾经在停电的夜晚，或者是慵懒的傍晚，绕着整个KTDI走了N次，而且是很懒散，不走直线地走着，因为藤井树的《夏日之诗》里写过，
“ 散步就是該懶散地走路，不需要走直線，也不需要趕時間，走著走著，有時會想通一些事情。那你知道散步时一件很幸福的事马吗？那表示你生活過得不錯，即使不是有錢人，你也有悠閒的時候。即使不是沒煩惱，你也有暫時不去想的時候。即使不是很快樂，你也有沉澱的時候。即使不是全無病痛，你也有還算不錯的身體陪著你一起走。”
所以我觉得，最舍不得的，应该是这里的夜晚，因为明年，我已经没有机会站在同一片土地上，以同一个角度看同一个月亮，或者以同样的速度，走完同样的距离。或许这一刻我多愁善感了些，不过那是因为，在这里的两年里，我过着很开心的时光，有很多值得回味的回忆。
Monday, April 25, 2011
A Sugar Cube that i never send out
Ya, so this is a sugar cube that i always keep, and never send out, dedicated to my boss.
I have wrote sugar cube for every EB in Appraisal Night, the only 2 person that i failed to do so--Guo Zhang and Wei Jun. I did not write for Wei jun is because i really not close to him, there is not much memory shared between us, (basically he admited that he is not close to anyone in the team), and personally i do not write fake wish for people, so i rather not to write anything for him; as for my boss, Guo Zhang, i did not write for him because i don't know what to write for him, don't ask me why, i will answer you "i don't know".
Zhang,
Being the most important person and the person i respect the most in EB team, there are so many thing that i would like to thank you for, although you might not remember.
July--thank you for telling me i am a better FA than Ooi, thank you for the trust when i even lost the faith on myself.
Oct--thank you for telling people that i am overload, because i will never tell people so even i know i cannot tahan anymore.
Dec--thank you for knowing that i am not ok, although i tell u 'there is nothing, i am ok', thank you for building up my belief towards FA.
Jan--thank you for making me cry out in front of you, this cry out release my sadness after reading Loh's sugar cube since MyLDS.
Mar--this is the thing that i do not have an idea how to start with. Basically after i failed the election, i keep telling myself to hold on my tears from rolling down, and congrats the other candidates first. Then suddenly you come, give me a hug that is totally out of my expectation, and for the first time, i feel something from your hug--you knew that i am going to fail, you just want to tell me that:"it's ok to fail",haha, like a father.
Apr--Thank you the the award, ya you are right i will never expect about it, just like i will never expect you being rude to me that time.
Don't tell me that i am a good FA, because it will make me cry in front of you (i did so when Alif tell me this,haiz..embarassing betul), i shine, because you never give me up.
So, it has come to the end of our term, i always hope to be close with you but we aren't, and to me this will be the end of our interaction since we only interact with each other for AIESEC issue. Well i guess i will give up the chance to be teammate with you again, Alif approached to me and said that there will be 4th round of MC application if i want to run for FA, but most probably i will not run again. So all the best for your MC term, i believe you will make more people shine^^
p/s: can we be more than just teammate? (this is the first sugar cube you wrote for everyone, and franfly said i hate the feeling to end our interaction now!)
How i wish i can put 1 picture of me and him here to represent the post, but we did not took any picture together before this, see how far is the relationship between me and my boss, lol.
I have wrote sugar cube for every EB in Appraisal Night, the only 2 person that i failed to do so--Guo Zhang and Wei Jun. I did not write for Wei jun is because i really not close to him, there is not much memory shared between us, (basically he admited that he is not close to anyone in the team), and personally i do not write fake wish for people, so i rather not to write anything for him; as for my boss, Guo Zhang, i did not write for him because i don't know what to write for him, don't ask me why, i will answer you "i don't know".
Zhang,
Being the most important person and the person i respect the most in EB team, there are so many thing that i would like to thank you for, although you might not remember.
July--thank you for telling me i am a better FA than Ooi, thank you for the trust when i even lost the faith on myself.
Oct--thank you for telling people that i am overload, because i will never tell people so even i know i cannot tahan anymore.
Dec--thank you for knowing that i am not ok, although i tell u 'there is nothing, i am ok', thank you for building up my belief towards FA.
Jan--thank you for making me cry out in front of you, this cry out release my sadness after reading Loh's sugar cube since MyLDS.
Mar--this is the thing that i do not have an idea how to start with. Basically after i failed the election, i keep telling myself to hold on my tears from rolling down, and congrats the other candidates first. Then suddenly you come, give me a hug that is totally out of my expectation, and for the first time, i feel something from your hug--you knew that i am going to fail, you just want to tell me that:"it's ok to fail",haha, like a father.
Apr--Thank you the the award, ya you are right i will never expect about it, just like i will never expect you being rude to me that time.
Don't tell me that i am a good FA, because it will make me cry in front of you (i did so when Alif tell me this,haiz..embarassing betul), i shine, because you never give me up.
So, it has come to the end of our term, i always hope to be close with you but we aren't, and to me this will be the end of our interaction since we only interact with each other for AIESEC issue. Well i guess i will give up the chance to be teammate with you again, Alif approached to me and said that there will be 4th round of MC application if i want to run for FA, but most probably i will not run again. So all the best for your MC term, i believe you will make more people shine^^
p/s: can we be more than just teammate? (this is the first sugar cube you wrote for everyone, and franfly said i hate the feeling to end our interaction now!)
How i wish i can put 1 picture of me and him here to represent the post, but we did not took any picture together before this, see how far is the relationship between me and my boss, lol.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
在意
你打算，人在机场时才告诉我你将离开半年吗？
我真的在意，因为我是最后一个知道的人
你是故意的，还是我对你而言已经是知不知道都无所谓的人
半年，可以改变很多
离开前，想想有什么放不下、舍不得的人
打个电话吧
有些人，你或许这一走，这一生都不会再见到了
我真的在意，因为我是最后一个知道的人
你是故意的，还是我对你而言已经是知不知道都无所谓的人
半年，可以改变很多
离开前，想想有什么放不下、舍不得的人
打个电话吧
有些人，你或许这一走，这一生都不会再见到了
Sunday, February 20, 2011
瞬间。永恒
对我而言，摄影是，纪念
曾经听过有人说过这么一句话
：“摄影就是能让瞬间变成永恒的魔法”
所以我爱拍照，希望能记下我的每一个第一次，每一个值得我去记住的时刻
我甚至希望每一张照片，背后都有属于自己的故事
我并不是什么了不起的摄影师，所以我的照片，并不会因为高超的摄影技术而美丽，相反地，它很可能长得非常普通，它，只是因为背后的故事而美丽
有人曾经问我，拍照对我而言就这么重要？
我沉默
因为问我的人，并不知道我想保留的是什么
我只是觉得，我和他之间好像没有纪念
因为要是有一天我关了面子书，或者离开了这个世界
那他或许连纪念我的一张照片也找不到
Saturday, January 1, 2011
First Glance
Some people said this to me today:
"Still can't understand why am I still attached to you, I think this is called fate gua. I still remember the moment back to MyLDS how we met, how we dance and how we smile"
Seeing this make me reflect back to what happen in my life. I meet a lot of people, some of them, i meet only once or twice, some, i forgotten after i meet them, some, play an important role in my life, but all these destiny, i never know when i first meet them.
It;s kind of amazing when i recall back how i meet the person who said this to me, the moment i meet him for the very first time, he is just a normal delegates for me, i never know we will so attached to each other in the future, until we meet the second time one year after that. So you see, yes we only meet each other twice so far, but we are very close now, and i can say he is the best memory i have for MyLDS 2010, a year when i start to feel unhappy in AIESEC. But his appearance, has added value to my journey in AIESEC, no matter how i disappointed with the people here, at least i meet him because of AIESEC, and that is enough for everything.
Well, beautiful memory do not comes easily. Sometimes, slow down the journey and think about the moment we smile together, ups and downs together and the moment we meet each other, that's kind of enjoyment.
At least by doing so i know, i am not alone.
"KamWei Cheah
"Still can't understand why am I still attached to you, I think this is called fate gua. I still remember the moment back to MyLDS how we met, how we dance and how we smile"
Seeing this make me reflect back to what happen in my life. I meet a lot of people, some of them, i meet only once or twice, some, i forgotten after i meet them, some, play an important role in my life, but all these destiny, i never know when i first meet them.
It;s kind of amazing when i recall back how i meet the person who said this to me, the moment i meet him for the very first time, he is just a normal delegates for me, i never know we will so attached to each other in the future, until we meet the second time one year after that. So you see, yes we only meet each other twice so far, but we are very close now, and i can say he is the best memory i have for MyLDS 2010, a year when i start to feel unhappy in AIESEC. But his appearance, has added value to my journey in AIESEC, no matter how i disappointed with the people here, at least i meet him because of AIESEC, and that is enough for everything.
Well, beautiful memory do not comes easily. Sometimes, slow down the journey and think about the moment we smile together, ups and downs together and the moment we meet each other, that's kind of enjoyment.
At least by doing so i know, i am not alone.
"KamWei Cheah
最后一秒。回顾
2010年，还剩两分钟，我突然回想起去年的最后一天我是怎么过的
然后我发现，365天后的今天，很多人变了，很多事变了，连感受都不一样了
我从不知道365天能改变这么多
至少，2010年，我记得谁陪我一起哭过笑过，跌倒过走过，我很感恩，因为这些回忆，不是我一个人建立得起来的，很感谢所有在2010年，让我笑过的人，因为真心的笑，得来不易。喜爱大学里的这一年，已经不是过着觉得好笑就能笑的日子；在AIESEC里的这一年，也不是心酸就能哭出来。
幸好这一年没有白过，至少，我长大了……
2011年，我要求不多，只想珍惜每一个爱我，和我爱的人；珍惜生命的每一天。
然后我发现，365天后的今天，很多人变了，很多事变了，连感受都不一样了
我从不知道365天能改变这么多
至少，2010年，我记得谁陪我一起哭过笑过，跌倒过走过，我很感恩，因为这些回忆，不是我一个人建立得起来的，很感谢所有在2010年，让我笑过的人，因为真心的笑，得来不易。喜爱大学里的这一年，已经不是过着觉得好笑就能笑的日子；在AIESEC里的这一年，也不是心酸就能哭出来。
幸好这一年没有白过，至少，我长大了……
2011年，我要求不多，只想珍惜每一个爱我，和我爱的人；珍惜生命的每一天。
Monday, November 22, 2010
Silent
2010年，我二十一岁，学会沉默，学会安静，不再轻易说出心里话
有一句话是这么说的：“人，越活，就越寂寞”
长大了，友情渐渐变质，所谓从小到大的知己，最后他只知道他自己，也只记得他自己，果然叫“知己”
家人渐渐老了，总有一天会离去，剩下的，是一堆遗憾且心酸的回忆，及回忆里，他们唠唠叨叨的声音
情人是个未知数，因为我无法预测将来会有怎样的另一半，或许有，或许没有；就算有，男人出轨的几率，一半一半
所以，剩下的，还是自己
这个时候，不是我想保持silent，而是，我的世界很安静，我已经没有了可以倾吐的对象
我的本性很直爽，什么心情都可以当故事一样来讲，但这一刻，我突然不想讲话了，此刻无声胜有声……
有一句话是这么说的：“人，越活，就越寂寞”
长大了，友情渐渐变质，所谓从小到大的知己，最后他只知道他自己，也只记得他自己，果然叫“知己”
家人渐渐老了，总有一天会离去，剩下的，是一堆遗憾且心酸的回忆，及回忆里，他们唠唠叨叨的声音
情人是个未知数，因为我无法预测将来会有怎样的另一半，或许有，或许没有；就算有，男人出轨的几率，一半一半
所以，剩下的，还是自己
这个时候，不是我想保持silent，而是，我的世界很安静，我已经没有了可以倾吐的对象
我的本性很直爽，什么心情都可以当故事一样来讲，但这一刻，我突然不想讲话了，此刻无声胜有声……
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